For a total beginner who;s still scared to go on a horse .. do you think it would be a better idea to start on a pony and then go on bigger horses? Did you do this or just got on a big one from the first time?

It would depend on the age and the size of the rider. I would not advise a full grown adult, or even a much older child ride on a pony as they are not as strong as horses and will not be able to take the weight.